I want THIS printed on a t-shirt

It’s like a sexy cross between a trashy harlequin romance novel and a good 90′s soap storyline… #HOT

No Chocolate for Lent

Let’s face it. It’s not like I’m THAT religious. Sure, I grew up Roman Catholic and studied it until the end of high school. But still, around this time every year still find a way to “restrict” myself for Lent.

Lent? To be honest, I don’t really remember what it is. It has something to do with Jesus not eating or drinking water in the desert for 40 days. I think he did it to prove that it’s possible to go lower than low carb. He must’ve been planning an even sunnier holiday. I kid, I kid.

While I respect the culture, I will say that Lent is a period where I diet in the name of “Jesus”. It’s an excuse to hold him as my Jenny Craig counselor for 5 weeks, ensuring that I don’t eat a certain something or other. I would give up alcohol, if I did enjoy it as much as others. But truthfully, I can’t stop eating chocolate. It’s day 6 and I’m staying the course.

So yet again this year, I’m giving up the cocoa and praying that I’m not some reoccurring uber cunt. Can you pray the bitchiness away?

My boyfriend Kodie and I leave for Mexico in early April, so hopefully I have the strength to make it through. Hopefully he has the patience to put up with me and my “badittude”. At least the board shorts should fit better, and the pictures more memorable from the waist up. Thank you Jesus (Hey-Zeus if your Spanish).

So Far This Week (Fashion)

Arriving at work this week, I’ve been told in the last 4 days that I look like:

Tuesday- A Fisherman

REAL FISHIN'

Thursday-A Hot Lesbian

What will tomorrow bring?

 

Who Ever Said AZN Females Can’t Drive….

This girl not only defies all laws of physics, she can also mad-ass parallel park!

Rafael Nadal does Armani (Vid)

Wow. Who knew that cotton could look so good! The 24 year old Spanish tennis icon certainly fills things out nicely.

Lucky Celebrity Dogs

 

I always thought that if you were one of Oprah’s pooches, you wouldn’t have a care in the world. As if scratching a lotto ticket that paid you a ridiculous amount, you’d be set for life.

Today we have found out that Sadie (Oprah’s newest Cocker spaniel) can move right over for “BEAST”. Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg just bought this lil’ white guy and let’s face it, he’s going to live THE life. Let’s just consider what this puppy’s future is going to look like: Champagne in the dog-dish. “People food” for breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks. Heck, he’ll probably be allowed to eat a special puppy chocolate, only available to celebrity animals. The lap of luxury, on the lap of a guy who always seems to be wearing bad jeans. Regardless, I’m jealous.

Also last night, Star Jones on Celebrity Apprentice debuted “Pinky”, a little white Maltese puppy. Cute dog. Annoying owner.

 But I worry she may join the crazy ranks of Elizabeth Taylor. You know what I’m talking about- the coo-coo ladies who need to bring their dogs everywhere as their spousal equivalent (most likely because men don’t want to be with them…more so Star over Liz….Liz has just run out of men.)

Lucky for me, I’m not a celebrity, but I do have the best dog on the planet- TACOS!

I’ve Been Know To Dance By Myself, but…

I don’t think I’ve ever done this before. Kudos to her for dancing like “nobody’s watching”. However, in today’s camera phone gerneration, good luck with that out in public. Plus, I’m not trying to be a jerk, but c’mon…. GF does like a bit cray-cray, right??